i'm not ready to give up on him yet. we broke up over a stupid fight.
i did almost everything for him
~ i woke him up for school
~ i went to his foster care meeting
~ i stayed up all night on the phone with him when his bus didn't arrive till 3 and a half hours later.
~ I went over his house when he was sick
~ i helped him with his first cellphone bill since his job was being a b**** to him
~ I brought him a new hoodie for his birthday after his old one got torn up in a bad accident ( he hates wearing jackets.. i didn't want him to be cold)
~ I got him a wallet for christmas when i found out his old one broke
~ his family seriously got him nothing for christmas 2 christmas's ago. I told my family and we got some small gifts for him, and my mom told my neighbor( who is her best friend) and her daughter gave up her credit card gift card to give to him
~I went to the skate park with him
~ I even went to his job when he needed me, and i got entirely soaked for him! ( i didn't have an umbrella at the time)
~ I was with him when he got his wisdom teeth taken out
~ i went with him to visit his best friend in the hospital twice
~ I went with him to go to his other best friends funeral after he died all of a sudden
i did all of this for him, and if i didn't wake him up for school in the morning, he wouldn't have gone to school, and he wouldn't have ever gotten his high school diploma. he got it a half a school year late, but he got it. I don't want to give up on him. I was gonna help him with so much, like getting a bank account, going to drivers ed to get his license( my friend was nice enough to ask her mom since she likes my bf as a friend). I still love him so much, i am not ready to give up. I really want him to be the person I know he can be. I was half way there. What can I do to save this relationship? This sunday or monday we are supposed to return each others items. I don't want him out of my life
whats sad is that he is the first person in his family to get their high school diploma i'm glad i helped him accomplish getting his diploma
he did do a lot for me too, just about as much as i did for him.
~he brought me an 0 coat ( it was on sale for though).
~He took me out to dinner.
~He gave my family free movie tickets ( since he works in the movies).
~I got to go on the city bus for free since his friends are bus drivers ( its .25 a ride!)
~He got me a hamster for our 6th month anniversary.
~He would always get me a drink or some sort of food when I got hungry
~ one time I got sunburnt so badly, he took me to the diner where his grandmother works, and asked her for some advice on how to make me feel better and everything.
~He was there for me when he found out my parents were separating
~ he got my sisters free popcorn once in a while
~ every friday we went to either McDonald's or ate at some diner to eat before he went to work, so basically that was my dinner
~ When he brought me that jacket, he risked getting in trouble with his aunt( he lived with his aunt since he was a foster child) from getting home late ( since he wouldn't let me leave, until I got something at the mall, and he had to take the bus home)
Plus we did have our alone time moments all the time also, we had times alone to date, do things together all couples do, and we enjoyed ourselves
My mom came up with the idea for this video.Please help reunite Alex and Marissa! Our awesome 3-disc DVD (loaded with bonus features) is only 20 bucks and we pay for shipping! Message us with your e-mail address and we'll send you an invoice through PayPal with a link to where you can pay securely with a debit card, credit card, or e-check on PayPal.com. We also have a super-awesome feature-length RSStB movie in post-production that makes Gus Van Sant's elephant look like Transformers 2. We wanted to make a feature that we felt was "pure" but we didn't have the inspiration until now. We're really proud of it and we hope you guys will enjoy it. It's called "Where Did We Go Wrong?" and we think it rules. It will be available in a few weeks. We have a donations link on our blogger page - rickyshoresingstheblues.blogspot.com I'm going to list a few people in each video because whenever I try to list everybody I forget someone and it makes me feel guilty. Check out these AWESOME channels www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com www.youtube.com
Okay so life sucks sometimes but we do get through it .. our marriage isn't a fairy tale and we have struggled and made lots of mistakes but I always looked forward to this time when the kids have now gotten their own place and we can finally refocus on each other and settle in to our "after 50 years" together and make something special for us. But my wife announced to me that she has been in touch with her old high school sweetheart, they talk every day and email each other. She says that it's the relationship that she always wanted and they were denied because her parents moved her away and eventually both of them moved on with their life's. She says, "he knows me better than anyone else". His marriage ended at their empty nest time just last year, and he then contacted my wife.. he has now convinced her to leave on a vacation with him this month, and so my wife wants a divorce before they go. I love my wife in spite of all our struggles.. I want to fight for her but in doing so I run the risk of controlling her right to choose and I become a warden instead of the husband I want to be. She claims that she has never been happy and this is her chance for happiness. We are now going to counseling but that will not go fast enough to stop the vacation plans. Do I call him and have a man to man talk? Do I ignore he exists and work only with the counselor and my wife? Or do I just accept her word that it's over, pick up my life, and move on in a positive direction for me? Do I fight or just let go? I have everything I need to expose what he is doing to his family, his community, his church, and the company that he works for. What do I do?
How can someone live with themselves and knowingly proceed with destroying someone else's life and not think it will have repercussions?
I am a 48 year old male and my father physically, mentally, and emotionally abused me all my life. I am also a devout Christian and have been and continue to be a church organist since the age of 5. God has opened the door for me to make a full circle and return to my hometown and Serve Him on the first pipe organ I ever played on and serve the congregation that gave me so much support while growing up. I have never been treated so well and so loved as I am in this church. God is truly using me to lift others up and prepare their hearts for His Holy Word. These are people that have known me all my life. I grew up around them. My father's mother, my grandmother who is 90 years old, is still living in the house they have always lived in. I stay with her on the weekends since I live nearly 60 miles away from my hometown. It is a joy to be with her but he has always lived in the past. I have been at this church for over a year and all of a sudden the devil is allowing my past to be used and brought up by my grandmother, my father's mother. I thought I had processed through all the anger, bitterness and termoil that the past held for me. Coming back to my hometown and being around my grandmother is not becoming a healthy situation for me. I have talked with her about the past, asked questions and even asked why her son treated me the way he did. My father, her son, still hasn't even graced the doors of the church I serve to come and listen to me play. Not even for my annual concert and/or Christmas program which is not a traditional worship service but still an act of Praise and Worship using the pipe organ. He continues to reject me and I continue to make all the efforts to keep our relationship at a civil level. I have to go to see him. I have to call to see if he received any gift I sent via the internet to see if he received it all right. I have to always make the initiative to be the bigger person.
I respect the Bible in one of the Ten Commandments in Honoring your Father and Mother. I continue to try to honor my father but his continued neglect, abuse, rejection and just plain selfishness has brought me to my knees. I have even thought of resigning my position at this church to simply close the door on this past that continues to be brought up by my grandmother, and the devil.
My best friend told me that God is telling me something . . . that it is ENOUGH! To close the door on the past even if that means closing the door on my grandmother and father. And allowing them to make the moves from now on. Nothing is worth leaving this church position over she said and that God wants me to let go of the PAST and to say ENOUGH is ENOUGH and move forward. She also said that it is time for me to invest in me. After 48 years of trying, bending over backwards, turning the other cheek, my grandmother isn't doing or saying anything that is benefiting me . . . she is doing it to benefit her son. She still loves him and while she may be very disappointed in him, she has become disfunctionable in her thinking and actions towards me, her grandson and continues to live in the past and doesn't allow me to move foward. Any time I put my foot down and say, I don't want to do that for my father, or put the extra effort out to be the bigger person, she uses my Christianity against me and says that God wouldn't be happy with me if I acted that way and that sometimes a Christian has to be the bigger person in cases like this. I ask . . . when is enough enough. I believe that God gave us all good sense and when a horse is dead . . . you get off. I believe it is time for me to say ENOUGH from what my dear friend shared with me and to put the ball in their courts. Not allowing ANYONE to bring up any more past and to start living my life for me and continue Serving The Lord with Joy and to begin loving myself and getting to know who I am.
Can anyone help me with a better insight other than what I have said here? Am I not acting according to what Jesus would have me do? I realize that we are to forgive 70 x 70 for our brother's sins (in this case my father and grandmothers's) but when is enough . . . enough. Can there be a season that things die and it is time to move forward concerning family?
Please. . . if anyone can help me with this from a Bibilical standpoint, I would be so grateful!
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we put a limit on Christmas last year for the kids, we set a 400 dollar limit, DIL asked that we spend it all on a gift for our son. We agreed but told her that would be it, she agreed, and stated that the girls ( 2yr old twins) would not know the difference that they would receive lots of gifts from other relatives. We agreed with the gift (safety item for motocross racing) since she told us that the best gift we could give the girls was to make sure there daddy was safe. Come Christmas day all hell broke loose and our son was ticked because we did not send any gifts for the girls. We explained what we were told to do, he still was mad. I later heard from mutual friend that my DIL was telling people that we bought the girls nothing for Christmas. I was hurt and called my son to ask him to please tell DIL not to do that and if she was to tell anything to tell the whole story. The next day DIL called screaming at me and telling me that I was going to loose my son and that I was a horrible grandmother. We told our son what she had done and he more or less condoned her behavior. DIL will not take my calls or talk to either of us now for over a year.. We have been in communication with son, but it is estranged. I still send the girls gifts for almost every holiday, have talked to them on the phone, but was told by son just recently that I am not a very good grandmother. I told him it is hard to have relationship knowing the feelings of his wife, he informed me that when we were more in contact with his children and acted like better grandparents maybe she would come around and have something to do with us. He accuses me of never of liking his wife, I told him I love her I just don't appreciate her way of confronting me. They have lived 12 hours away for almost 4 years now, I have been out there 4 times have called and done video cams with them, sent the girls tons of gifts and it seems its never enough for him or her. I told my son that his father and I for some reason cannot do right by him, he said nothing. He complained alot abut his father and said some pretty mean things about him, but when I talked about his wife and how she needs to not confront me in that matter he becomes irate and hateful. What do we do. I could go on and on about this. Our true feelings is that she wants our son all to her self and I am fine with that, he is suppose to leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, but she is truly the one who dislikes me and his father, she is very controlling and hateful. I have apologized several times about not sending a gift for the girls and I was wrong but I was blown away when my son just told me recently that they are upset because we don't make enough effort towards his girls, that it has nothing to do with the gift. I want this to be better, have tried to work it out, but they are making conditions, and she always has rules and hoops that me and sons father must jump through.
I don't want my mom to work forever and she is an unstable relationship. I want her to have a retirement plan and I am not sure if she can get a decent amount of money to live on by now since she is almost 50. I am in need of all the suggested plans you have. Thank you
