My Boomer Tips
My ex-husband just died very unexpectedly at age 53. We were divorced in 1995, and have three children together. I remarried, he didn't. We had shared/joint custody of the kids. The children are grown now, the youngest is 19, and she was living with him at the time of his death.
In our divorce decree, He was awarded our home. I fought this, but because he had the best attorney in the state, and I definitely didn't, he won. He and my stepfather built the house, and it was mostly financed by money given to me by my grandmother and my mother. I worked more than full-time, to finance the household while he was building it. The house has slipped into disrepair, but it is on a very valuable 42 acre piece of property, and the most recent appraisal from the town was 2,000.
In our decree, he was to pay me ,500 dollars as repayment for his use of a credit card that was in my name at the time of our divorce, and then I was to execute a quit-claim deed, signing the house over to him. I took him to court in 2004, to enforce that final order. At that time (he never showed up for the hearing), the judge instituted a wage garnishment order, and added 8% interest to the back-due balance, and 12% interest to the balance moving forward. My ex quit his job that day, and never worked "on the books" again. I never was paid, and as a result, I never signed the quit-claim deed.
Now, he has passed away without a will. There is no lien or mortgage on the home. We purchased the property prior to our marriage as tenants in common. So now the house and the land legally belongs to me.
My children are 26, 24, and 19. My 26 year old daughter has never lived in the house since the divorce. She was with me until she went to college, and has been living on her own since then. My son has been on his own for the last 4 years.
My children (and my oldest daughter especially) are very uncomfortable with the fact that I now own their home. I'm not asking for rent from them, and I have paid the past due taxes. A few months have gone by, and I need to resolve the liability issues and move forward through this. She is poisoning my relationship with my other two children. They are not ready to have the responsibility of this home. My oldest daughter isn't working, or even looking for work. My son is working for a local landscaping company. My youngest daughter is working as a gardener for a private estate. We live in Vermont, so they will both be laid off for the winter.
My intention is to use the homestead as equity to dramatically reduce the interest on the mortgage on my home, and to finance the repairs needed to that one, and then charge them with a modest rent to pay for those repairs.
The other issue, if I do what they are asking, and then sign the place over to them is gift tax. I can only gift each child ,000/year without a huge tax liability.
This is becoming a huge issue between my husband and myself. He's concerned about the liability, as am I. Our attorney has advised us to sell or rent our current home, and establish residency in my former home. I would love to do just that, but am sure that would divide our family. I just don't know what to do, and as a result, I'm doing nothing.
Thanks, just read the first 6 answers, and would like to add a bit of detail. My relationship with my two younger children has always been excellent. My oldest daughter and I have butted heads in the past, but nothing major. I really want to do what is best for them. I had washed my hands of the debt, and that property years ago. Like it or not, I've gotten it back.
