My Boomer Tips

My Boomer Tips

I'm 19 years old and my grandmothers sister -my great aunt- is really getting out of hand.

My grandma and her sister have fought all their lives, constantly. Well I grew up, moved out of state for my husband, and started my life the way I wanted it. So far so good...

Well my aunt got ahold of my email address and started emailing me. Every single email, she would brag about her family, like they were better than everyone else in the world, comparing her granddaughter to me, which is kind of a laugh riot figuring shes a sleaze and a drunk. Then continuing to run down my grandparents, who I am very close to.

One day I just had enough and responded;
"I'm sorry if I come off as rude, and I love you very much... but I've really had enough of hearing you run down my grandparents in every email. You dont email me to keep in touch, instead you run down my family and boast about yours. I'm tired of hearing it, specially when I get married and I dont even receive an email at least congratulating me, but when ever someone got married or graduated from school down there, we were there with checks, gifts, cards... Because it was expected. I heard nothing from no one, not even a call. It hurt me very bad and I really dont have much respect for you or your family after all these emails over time. It would be best if you left our conversations about ourselves, not anyone else."

After that I received around 7 or 8 emails from this woman, running me down, calling me terrible names... saying she feels bad for my husband for getting into such a terrible family... saying how lucky she is to have such a great family unlike mine, and how religious she is...saying that my family and I no longer exist to them, and that she forwarded all the emails to her family to read. Its actually quite a read if I could post the emails here...

Shes around 60 years old, writing to me in caps, with obvious means of tearing my heart apart; asking me "are you about to loose your mind? I dont know you can handle being who you are, maybe you should just give up on life". We used to be fairly close, I considered her another grandma to me... I was really hurt, but mostly I expected this because shes done it to my grandma, many friends of her, and her in laws; all that no longer speak to her.

Well I got over it, my mother and grandparents found out because I obviously told them. My husband, being a catholic, was very angry, specially at the fact of the extent of the insults and she calls herself catholic.

That was around 3 months ago. Last night she called my mom, and my aunt had her on speakerphone, very mature right? Haha. My mom ended up telling her off, because my aunt was stating "I miss you guys, want to work through problems" which shes done every single time. My mom said "after what you've said to my daughter, you as well no longer exist to us, do not call again" and hung up.

After this, I received another email, again going off on me... telling me its my fault that my family is done with her...

So my question is, how can I resolve this besides just deleting my email, I work through that email... so I cant delete it! I cant find a way to block her either. My husband wants to take this to JAG -lawyers through the military- because of the harassment. But I dont want anything to do with her anymore, specially if I did that, she might try murdering me! haha! This is just crazy, any advice? Speaking to her anymore will only make matters worse.

Thank you very much for the patience with reading this!
LOL thanks there to the lady that said I have no common sense at all. Friendly person.

My Boomer Tips

im 20 years old and my father is suffering with dealing with me being an adult. he gets emotional and cries, when i got engaged last week he cried in front of everyone and it broke my heart. he mentioned considering seeing a therapist because he is having such a hard time with no children around to do the fun activities we used to while i was growing up.
I just found out I am pregnant, and haven't told him yet. Do you think a grandchild will close that empty space he feels? Or make him feel worse because his daughter is a mother now???

My Boomer Tips

I have been told that as the millions of Baby Boomers age, the United States may face a lack of labor, leading us to outsource even MORE of our work to other nations--some, namely China, which don't necessarily have our best interests at heart. The immigrant population is needed to keep these jobs in the United States, for our economy and our society. Do you think so? Or have I heard incorrectly?

My Boomer Tips

This may be the weirdest question ever asked by me, but my heart is sad & I am lonely &I feel so isolated & don't know where2 turn. So I'll take suggestions from people who have been here & done that. I am 56, a recently retired elem teacher & was a single parent from 1985-1997. So I was so busy I thought when the kids left the nest I would B content. I am miserable. I have no family, no friends, they were all at school & my kids have flown the coop very far& emotionally 2. I am a very outgoing person & love people, but I've never really had 2 make friends because I was always involved in soccer mom & in school extremely involved in extracurriculur activity. I am stuck & feel like the whole world hates me, but it is just because I don't belong 2anyone or place anymore. 1 contingency is that I have a strong leader personality & when I join groups, like my intuitive daughter says, I am a leader not a follower. I also have CFIDS so have about 1/2 power and little money.voluteer no
CFIDS means one has very very little energy . I can't even drive 30 miles to our next door neighbor big town and when one doesn't have money, they can't travel.

My Boomer Tips

Its two questions really: Sorry so long here is the situation

First of all she hasn't been making the most rational decisions but she is still very self suffient and we just look in on her (as do the other family members)

Also she has always been real scatterbrained......we are also wondering when you feel the best time to suggest a retirement community or assisted living.....we worry about her living on her own in that apartment (though she thinks its great its not the best area of town anymore but she hasn't seen how its gone downhill).....but we are worried with her forgetfulness and her heart.

She will not be living with us though I can't take that......there would be too much fighting and we don't have room, our extra room is set aside to be the nursery.

So when do you feel the best time is to suggest that we just don't like her being alone and so far away from the family

And for the other issue the wierd issue:

But this has to do with her emotional state

My husbands 70 year old grandmother (who raised him) who is really young acting for her age, who lost her husband 2 years ago and is very lonely.

Decided enough was enough so she set her sights on finding an old high school boyfriend. Well she found him and they started writing back and forth and he came to town to visit some relatives and stopped in to see her for a few days. He is a little older than her and in okay health but she wanted to be more than friends and he made it real clear he didn't appreciate her advancements and just wanted to be friends

(He never married)

Well he mentioned once the possiblity of her going out to visit so she called him up and said she was coming out for christmas (well first of all you don't invite yourself to someone house) and he said no (she did this because we were leaving town)

Well he sent her a gift over the holidays and she wants to tell him that he really hurt her....but

feel she never should have set her sights on him like that in the first place and should have accepted when he clearly told her that he just wanted to be friends.

The worst part is she is coming to my husband (her grandson, well son for all intensive purposes) and asking advice on her love life

Well my husband has some issues with that...because his grandfather was completely devoted to her and would as soon die than move on if she had passed first.

I told her to thank him for the gift and not burn bridges. He wants to be her friend and that is what she needs right now....not a boyfriend but a friend.

But she is lonely and stubborn.

How can I help my husband cope with her right now and the wierdness and how can I help her understand that it makes my husband uncomfortable

and that she needs to slow down and not drive this guy away or any guy.

What advice would you have given?

I know she is just lonely but its hard for my husband

by the way she is his adopted mother

My Boomer Tips

now u listen here....
u fukken scarred me down to the bone...
do u know what its like to be held against ur will...
held prisoner and have u heart turned to steel...
16 years old i was...still a girl with much to learn and life to live
u robbed me of all i could be and what i could give
dont for a second think i ever fukken loved u
u were a monster to me...a plague...like swine flu
do u know what its like to be laid down and raped
by a man who said he loved u...i could only dream of escape
u planted ur seed inside me...but my benevolence was stronger than
anything evil that u could reap
and an angel arose from the rotton fruit that u beared
..ur semen was cheap
missed the last days of my grandmother...to ur lack of esteem
and ur lust for control
had to say good bye to her through my dreams...
god...rest her soul
the best gift u ever gave to me....was ur gift of death
go and join ur kind....find ur place next to the beast named seth
i think u should know...these chains are breaking free...
because im gonna forgive u...LISTEN to me
never for a moment think im doing it for u..
this execution is for me...its time to break through
ur nothing short of a parasite...somewhat like a flea
ur grip is now loosened...im far stronger than u could ever be

i have 2 more posted..
a look at all 3 would be great...
thinkin about performing at open mic night

My Boomer Tips

now u listen here....
u fukken scarred me down to the bone...
do u know what its like to be held against ur will...
held prisoner and have u heart turned to steel...
16 years old i was...still a girl with much to learn and life to live
u robbed me of all i could be and what i could give
dont for a second think i ever fukken loved u
u were a monster to me...a plague...like swine flu
do u know what its like to be laid down and raped
by a man who said he loved u...i could only dream of escape
u planted ur seed inside me...but my benevolence was stronger than
anything evil that u could reap
and an angel arose from the rotton fruit that u beared
..ur semen was cheap
missed the last days of my grandmother...to ur lack of esteem
and ur lust for control
had to say good bye to her through my dreams...
god...rest her soul
the best gift u ever gave to me....was ur gift of death
go and join ur kind....find ur place next to the beast named seth
i think u should know...these chains are breaking free...
because im gonna forgive u...LISTEN to me
never for a moment think im doing it for u..
this execution is for me...its time to break through
ur nothing short of a parasite...somewhat like a flea
ur grip is now loosened...im far stronger than u could ever be

i have 2 more posted..
a look at all 3 would be great...
thinkin about performing at open mic night

My Boomer Tips

OK, I am 26 years old. I have lived in the same town all my life. I went to college (undergrad) in my hometown and while I lived in the dorms, I went home on the weekends. Then after graduating college I lived at home for a year while working, and decided to go to graduate school at the same school I did my undergrad and live at home while I do so.

So I'm 26 and I haven't lived anywhere except for my hometown. I decided to study abroad this fall in Europe. The plan was to stay for only one semester, but I like it so much that I want to return for the spring (after going home for the holidays) and finish up the academic year here.

My mother is having a hard time with this. She told me that it is my life and I can do what I want. And she told me a few days ago that I don't have to justify my reasons for wanting to stay abroad.

So I was shocked to receive an email from her tonight asking me to reconsider my decision to return to Europe after the winter holidays. She said that her heart is broken more than I can possibly imagine and that our family needs to be together again. Also she said that staying abroad wasn't something I planned to do, so would I please reconsider?

I plan to return home in June to finish up school, and I feel like I have lived at home longer than average. Many of my friends have left home much earlier than me, like at age 22 or even 20. And I'm 26. So it's not like I'm doing something unusual by wanting to stay abroad a little longer. Coming abroad has renewed my interest in life and it has made me appreciate both the US AND other cultures more than I ever did before. Plus I am gaining some confidence and independence. I feel that 5 more months would only enhance that.

The problem is that I feel so bad about hurting my mother because I know she wants me home. I have never lived away from home and she does not have a husband so it's even harder for her.

Is this empty nest syndrome? If so, it will only get worse when my brother and I get married and move out on our own for our jobs. What can I do to help her cope? We have a good relationship but she never wants to discuss my staying abroad over the phone because it makes her so sad. She said I can email her, so I will do that. I don't know how to explain my reasons for wanting to stay abroad without hurting her or sounding selfish. And I think on some level she does understand that it is my life and I have to do what I want. But how do I help her not be so sad? How can I help her handle the whole empty nest syndrome thing in general? I care about her and I don't want to put a rift in our relationship.