Should I keep my mouth shut and just stay away from them, or tell them how I feel?
My Boomer Tips
My daughter was just married in a small wedding, immediate family only. Her mother, grandmother, father, step-mother. His mother, step-father, father, sister. One best friend each. They're hosting a larger party in a few weeks.
My brother and his wife are deeply offended, and are boycotting the reception. They say they should have been there as immediate family and that they're not giving her the gift they'd bought.
My brother has never been close to my daughter, never visited her, been to her graduations or parties, never bothered to ask about her, and doesn't even like her new husband.
I explained that they didn't deliberately single them out--his aunt and uncle weren't there, either.
What I want to say, and didn't because I was afraid it would start a feud: "You don't even have a relationship with them. If you hadn't invited them to your wedding, they would have considered that your prerogative, because it was your day, and they would have been happy for you. They didn't omit you to deliberately hurt you, but you're boycotting the party to deliberately hurt them. It will also hurt mom, me, and your own children. It's a childish, bitter, vindictive statement, and Daddy would be disappointed in you. But if you can't just be happy for them, and rejoice in their wedding, whoever was there, then I don't want you anywhere around that day.
They've already requested no gifts. They've been together 10 years, and already have everything they need.
alright, they never had a relationship in the first place,i think there is ego in play,like"i wouldn’t have gone anyway,but how dare I not get an invitation!!"don’t stress.pass it by, enjoy the memories and let it be the day for your daughter,like it is supposed to be.when you are an adult, you are supposed to act like one,and your brother is not.he is, and was the one missing out.keep smiling daylily.keep the flowers and the sunshine to your own garden!love to all!
If you can tell us like it is; why don’t you do the same for your brother. He already sounds like a jerk to begin with. He should be happy for them and give them his best wishes. He needs to grow up a bunch. Maybe they are lucky he’s not around to cause more problems.
In my honest opinion, speak your mind, because I don’t think anyone could argue with that. I think you have it figured out.
just tell them the truth because if u dont they think they can controll u in the future.
Tell them to grow up and get over. If they don’t, it’s their issue not yours. And life goes on.
personally i would leave them to them selves the only people they’re hurting is themselves if they have never had a relationship with your daughter then i don’t think it is really going to matter but then again idk what her feelings are towards having them not come to her wedding reception. it does sound though that they need to be given it straight.
I think that the the hurt stings less when people that do choose to only include a few in their wedding explain that however tactfully they can to those they invite to the larger reception that they could not afford a big wedding although that sounds like a lie when they then have a huge reception and start raking in gifts. Receptions cost money too.
To be honest, they should make it a no gift reception. Otherwise they appear to only be having a large reception to get gifts from those not invited to the wedding. That is kinda tacky. And it will be in the mind of every person who attends that was not at the wedding. They may not voice it, but I guarantee you will end up with more than him resenting them.
A better idea might be to let things calm down a little. Let her handle her own uncle. They are grown now momma. And then have a BBQ or event at their home without gifts later on. This can just be a party and there won’t be gifts. And then people can get to know the new couple better.
Give me his email address, I will copy and paste that exact last paragraph to him. It’s what he needs to hear.