My Boomer Tips

My Boomer Tips

Before I begin, I need to be truthful and explain our family's situation. I'm 23 and have two younger brothers who are 22 and 19, as well a 20 year old sister who has been attending college and not living with us for two years. The rest of us live with our parents even though we should move out in the next few years, and it's sad to admit that. Anyway, our parents are 50 and 52 and they are getting into arguments about my dad not working (he hasn't worked in over a year), about our grandfather paying our monthly rent which is horrible due to none of us working, and also my mom accusing my dad of secretly masturbating in our garage or when he takes the dog for a walk (?). This would lead into severe confrontations, yelling at each other, and threatening/hurting each other physically. This has been going on for years ever since my mom accused him of dating a russian coworker he worked with at his job in 2001....and all those times lead to physical and verbal abuse (you'll never believe the stuff we've seen them do) to each other in front of us who were younger but it didn't matter, it was childish. We even had to go to a counsler to talk about their marriage problems and accusations with the co-worker girl. What disturbs us is that they think it's OKAY to do this stuff to each other. and in their 50s. You see, every time they fight about our dad getting a job, being lazy or masturbating (which is literally almost every day), they don't seem to really care about our feelings even though we're all adults, and more importantly, their own health. My mom now has diabetes, blood sugar, a sprained ankle and is overweight, and my dad has bloody issues bathroom-wise (hemeroids?) and blood pressure. I'm seruously worried that by them continuing to disregard their own health to get violently abusive to one another, that they could have a hear attack or something....which they don't understand. We have stress and frustration, but that doesn't make it acceptable to treat each other like crap even if my mom starts it. There are alot of times when we come home from the store or someplace and she asks him if he masturbated or got a jo, in front of us. This of course leads to my dad getting angry and choosing to get verbal back and physical, like she plans on bringing up the fight on purpose. We have heard and witnessed this many times throughout our mid-late childhood and it has gotten so very old and childish of them. And almost every fight leads to my mom saying how she wants him to "go to your mothers now" which he has done so many times but comes back for something. You see, we have difficulty getting medical insurance since we're all over 18 and not working and my dad has been trying to get hired at any job he could find but my mom says he's a loser who'll never change and be a bum. I need to note that there were times when their fights got so bad the the police came a few times, and once almost arrested my dad (he was handcuffed and sitting in their car but they let him go with a warning) getting physical with her again. This is all so unacceptable condidering their ages and we want them to grow up and come to terms with their actions. I mean, they have health issues and they STILL fight, come on! Also. my mom used to tell us that when she was younger our grandfather used to hit her alot with belts over little things, even once grabbing her by the hair and dragging her UP THE STAIRS for disrespecting him, which shocked us but she still remembers it and when our dad does that stuff it reminds her of her dad. We know that if he got hired somewhere, even us too, that their fighting would be toned down somewhat, and I don't wanna give up hope. But even though they clearly admit to not loving one another during fights, does it really solve anything to cause pain and abuse to each other over these topics? It's really sad.
I'm simply tired of them acting like this, yet I care about they more than they know. So, I mean who agrees that this is just horrible stuff to witness? Anyone ever dealt with fighting parents like this?