How do I let go of her? It hurts so bad!?
My Boomer Tips
My grandmother was like a best friend to me.(she's 60)She started smoking crack and she stopped calling me. She stopped caring about me. So I gave up. I was over her.
She called my house sober.
We drove to her house (eight hours). When we went to see her; she wasn't there. She called the next day and said she's show up at the house we were staying in. She came in for 10 seconds,began to cry and scream about how her parents abandoned her,turned around,told us she had to go "pick something up"( we knew what she meant...crack),and left. I asked her not to go.She ran out of the house and screeched out of the drive way.
I never got to say goodbye,give her the gift I bought her,or that I loved her. She never told me she loved me after she pleaded for another chance. I loved her so much! My entire childhood was based around her..and she just crushed it my heart.
I know it could be worse...but I just can't seem to let her go.(even though she let me go)
What should I do?
We tried to get her into rehab,she took our money and our help and did nothing.
She just doesn't care about me anymore. I just can't seem to get over that,or the fact that I can't hold her and tell her love her anymore.
She's basically committing suicide and I don't know how to get over it....
You don’t have to let go of her. You don’t even have to stop calling, writing to her or worrying her. All those things come with loving some one. You can’t make those caring feelings just go away.
Keep writing to her, keep calling her, keep showing her you care. Keep letting her know that you still love her even though she is doing things you don’t approve of.
Drugs really change people. Some people just can’t stop doing it, even when they see it is ruining their lives.
She probably really does love you and really does want to see you. But drugs and her past have her in their grip and it doesn’t seem like it will be easy undoing it.
Have you tried talking to your family about planning an intervention? Have you tried researching chemical dependency programs near her? That way you and your family can get involve in convincing her that she needs help.
This will be tiresome, energy sapping, long process but you and your family will have to comitt to it if you want to help lift her from her downward spiral.
Realize that she doesn’t mean to hurt you. Instead, her wild actions are obvious screams for help. If no one helps you, you really will have to let her go some day.
If you feel the situation is getting desparate and that your grandmothers drug use may cause her death, I would call the police and tell them she has drugs. It seems very harsh but at the very least she can go through detoxification in jail. I would do this it if were my grandmother and there was no other hope. She would thank you for it afterwards hopefully.
Try to get as much support together and present the idea of rehab first though.
Be brave and keep your head up.
: )
My advice… don’t let her go! She needs her family more than ever!!!
Get her the proper help in rehab. I still don’t believe your story that well though. Not many 60 year old grandmas are crackheads. Something opiate based maybe but crack?
wow thats harsh man umm try to get her to go to A.A. and go wit her you may not lose her you know. your spending time with her and helping her so i think it will help you guyz to still b close.
omg mine to she was coolest thing ever — the worst thing that ever happined to me was she died on my birthday and i was so close to her it is really hard to let go i understand
Pray for her. I’ll pray for both of you. With God, all things are possible.
the time she needs you the most.! good luck
I know she is your grandmother and all but you really need to pay no more attention to it. It is runing your own life. If she comes back wanting forgivness give her one more chance then if she turns on you again i say you dont forgive her ever again… Say she ruined your life.
Sorry to here about this
Feal Better
I think u should move on with your life I know it’s hard I have had a similar experience it takes a wile to get there. If she doesn’t talk to u any more . u know what I think I think that she’s sick and she doesn’t want u seeing her in the state that she’s really in she can pull it together when u see her but when u leave it all crashes down she used up all her energy for u but that’s my veiw maybe (put a camera in the house so u can wach her) I don’t think she has long to live . p.s tell her what i’ve written if she dosen’t see u after u show her this than walk away or show her some old photos becaue belive it or not she still loves deep within her heart p.s try contact me
If this is the first time it happen then give here another chance she can make it up 2 u … some people even the great ones get lost in that drug so if u give her a chance u can find her the grami u loved … Good luck hope i heleped !:)
OMG – I could not even imagine going through that. I don’t think that you will ever be able to give her up in your heart, can you find her and convince her to go through some type of intervention?
If not, then the best thing for your safety is to take a step back and put your emotions into something else for wahile. I know that is a lmae suggestion but there is no easy answer for a gramma on crack. I can’t even fathom what you are going through
I know that you really love her but sometimes you have to back up and pray, don’t get me wrong keep on loving her never give up on her,some people just have to do things at there pace. maybe she will come around and ask for help or maybe you just need to keep on talking to her and find out what is going on and why did she choose drugs to turn to.
You need help and support. If you live near a city of any size, there is a number for Al-Anon, or Ala-Teen (spelling?). These are for the friends and families of those who are addicted.
Call right now, or tomorrow; you will be glad that you did!
many people in this life confuse and hurt us ,,,they will face thier own ,,selfs and see ,life squrely then ,,its not your faulyt she will some day look back and see you for what you were she will see your love that she rejected ,,,,,it will frustrate her to no end in the hearafter that will be a hell in itself what we couldof had ,,,but dident see ,,you can be confident you did the best in a difficult situation ,,,face life the best you can seek god follow his word ,,remember ,,,in the end no one will judge you but you will see what you missed out on that will be the biggest ,,hell ,,,save ,,the life you have left commit it to god and seek his direction ,,,thats all you can do ,,,bl;essings juliet
Pray for her. God delivered my daughter from Crack by the power of his name and that’s about the only thing that works permanently.
wow…60 and using crack? lol….let her go slowly….
Bloody hell. I don’t mean to sound facetious but for your Gran to be smoking crack you must be American…the only fumes any British Grannies are inhaling are the carbon monoxide from their dodgy gasfires cos their pension won’t stretch to a proper modern heater.
ANYWAY, I hope that made you smile, not cry!!!! I’m just shocked at your Gran.
Poor thing, she must have been bottling this stuff up for 60 years- sometimes its better to just tell her you’ll be there for her and listen to her problems. Better that she’s smoking crack with you than in some doorway. Try not to force her into anything or she’ll just run away further. The thing is, she’s an adult in the eyes of the law so there’s probably precious little you can do except be there for her. Sincere good luck to you all.
Pray for spiritual and emotional healing. Get others to pray as well.
Never give up…
"With God all things are possible."
I can empathize. I have lost loved ones to drugs as well. Don’t let her go. Don’t give up. There is still time left- take advantage of it or you will regret it deeply. Plan an intervention; don’t let her go. Lock her up in a room if you have to and stay with her until she is detoxed. Your grandma is still in there somewhere waiting for you to salvage her life. Her parents may have abandoned her but let her know that you have not. As hard as things may get, as much as she may protest while under crack’s hold, you must fight for her.