Empty nest syndrome, did you experience it and how did you get through it?
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My Boomer Tips
Our youngest is leaving for college soon, and even though I'm truly proud and excited for him, we are really close and I don't want to miss him so much that I hinder his progress.
WE avoided empty nest by having our kids 10 years apart!
Just focus on the excellent job you did raising your children, then let go. Take up a new hobby or two. Volunteer. Fill your time with worthwhile activities and you’ll feel better about yourself. It’s hard to convert from being a mom to being a whole person. I even had a hard time answering to "Patsy" instead of "Mark’s Mom".
just call him often , dont worry its normal
my young one joined the army and just the thought of it turns my stomach. He had to go all out and go airborne on top of that…..jumping out of a plane! There is not a day that goes by i do not cry i have been in a deep depression not coping well at all. I have a grandchild also . But it is not the same i wish you the best
No, not yet, but my mom did. She accepted it by embracing her new freedom. She fell in love with the idea of only cooking for 2 and running through the house naked. She likes the idea of only having to remember stuff for herself and my dad. It was hard for her, at first, but she took some trade courses at night and learned a few new skills. She also made us promise to call her every week on the same day, so that she has something to look forward to. Our leaving brought our parents closer. Just think, in a few years(6 or7) Maybe you’ll have grand kids who want to visit and every time they leave, you’ll be glad that your parenting days are over. Finally, if these suggestions don’t work, and you don’t feel any better after a few months, talk to your doctor. Your feelings, after all, are normal and you don’t need to be ashamed, but you do need to be able to move forward in your own life. Hope this helps.
I experienced the same thing. You call them alot and see them whenever you can. When the girls married I, again, went through the same thing. I felt like I was being replaced. Through it all I know that they know how much they are loved.
I HAVE BEEN SUFFERING "EMPTY NEST" FOR THE LAST 5 YEARS. It is so hard to adjust to no kids or young adults at home. And you really worry a lot when they are on there own. And then one day you really get a knot in your stomach when you realize "they don’t need you anymore". You job is accomplished but it hurts.
Here are some things that help:
Try to give them space to be their own person, all grown up, but do
call and check in by asking "how are things going"?
Keep real busy, take classes, find a new hobby, read, outdoor activities
Make some new friends. When your life has NEWNESS it is easier.
Plan special holidays and birthdays way in advance.
Take time to experience their world (college, jobs, home life) VISIT when
asked but don’t just drop in. They need privacy and space.
Remodel your home. Make some changes. Make changes the way you
want it. Maybe a game room or new family room. Your way is best.
Pop them over little emails (once in awhile and not too often) of endearment
A lot of the time, let them call you. Dont be the Mom or Dad that pesters their kids. Let them grow up and have a life. My sons former girl (now his wife) gets 5 and 6 cell calls a day. She has no life and she is married.
Invite them to come home from certain occasions or when you think they
can come. Ask them what they would like to do. Kids who leave home
love to come home, be in their room, with their family and do nothing.
Keep contact. Invite them to lunch out, go to their sport games etc.
The biggest advice to coping is to keep yourself busy until the pain subsides.
I guarantee you life will totally change. You forget to cook, look for them in their room, and even waste time as your life loses structure. You have to get the structure back. Change it into something that works for you.
And don’t cry. Really it seems to accomplish nothing unless it really makes you feel better. Change your life one step at a time and their distance will be only a heart beat away.