Empty nest… My mother is upset..?
My Boomer Tips
I have moved out with my soon to be wife. My sister is moving out with her soon to be husband. We have lived with my folks for all of our lives. But now my mother is flipping out that there is no one ever around to her do things. My father would help but he has a very bad back and cant do to much. My mother seems upset and wont talked very long to me. I do try to make it to the house to help her and to visit. The last time I called her she was crying and said nothing is not doing to be done anymore. She stated that there was to much help and she never gets help like everyone else. I do feel bad and I wish I was there all the time to help. I am very close to my mother, like any child should be.
What or shall I handle this? I heard this is called empty nest issue.
Thanks for helping if you can!!
I think that your mother may be trying to manipulate you into feeling guilt enough to give up on the idea of moving out.
It is not fair for you or your sister. It is one thing to have ‘empty nest’ and miss your kids. It is another altogether to complain that no one is there to do things for her… You are her kids, not her helper. I can understand feeling overwhelmed by the idea but she should be happy that you two have found someone to start a life with.
Talk to your sister and offer to pay a cleaning lady to come in once a week and do her chores. You two could split the cost.
If the issue is yard work, again, get a neighborhood kid to cut the grass and etc.
If her only reason is because there is no one to do work around the house, then that is not reason enough.
You can also ask her to make a list of things you need and drop in a couple of times a month to help out.
Look her in the eyes, and ask, "Mom, this is a big step for all of us. It is time for me to start my own life as you did when you married dad. Can you be happy for me?"
why not just get married and you and your GF move into the house with them?
Meg
She’ll get over it.
How old are your parents? Is it truly a health issue or is it just too much at once her babies are gone issue?
First off- as parents we all know we raise our children with the intention of teaching them to take care of theirselves & their own family-it is hard to go through each stage as your children grow –
Perhaps there is a church or a community out reach for senior citizens – try not to put more on yourself than you SHOULD – a
and after your married- I personally believe your wife& children are first in line, then parents, then friends, then self